


Tentacles To Think About

by the_fifth_marauder101



Series: Tiny Tony Stories [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arc Reactor Issues, BAMF Pepper Potts, Character Study, Chronic Pain, Drunk Tony Stark, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, F/M, First Kisses, Getting Together, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt and comfort, Implied electrocution, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Torture, Ironman 2, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) is a Good Bro, M/M, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Octopus, POV Tony Stark, Past Animal Abuse, Pet Octopus, Post-Ironman 1, Pre-Poly, Scene rewrites, Self Confidence Issues, Shenanigans, Slightly OOC Tony Stark, Swearing, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Tony Stark-centric, and a kiss!, oneshots, only for like one scene, self destructive tendencies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26538940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_fifth_marauder101/pseuds/the_fifth_marauder101
Summary: Tony’s search history has more to do with sea creatures than his job. This may be a problem.~AU where Tony saves an octopus and takes him in.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) & Tony Stark, Loki & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Pepper Potts & James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Tony Stark & DUM-E, Tony Stark & His Bots - Relationship
Series: Tiny Tony Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1929805
Comments: 14
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *strolls in with a boba tea and half an AU*
> 
> Ladies, I have returned.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intro to Giovanni and Tony. Set Pre-Ironman 1 & during Ironman 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been a while since I wrote a Marvel one-shot, or short story I suppose-but! There will be more.
> 
> This was more of a warm-up gone array, so bear with me here.
> 
> Enjoy the nonsense!

~☽.✧.☾~

Tony will adamantly claim he wasn’t drunk when this happened. He was tipsy. 

“I beg to differ,” Rhodey groans, dragging a hand over his face. 

“Then beg,” Tony replies simply, continuing to scroll through the site for a large aquarium. 

“Hey, do you think I should renovate the walls so they’re built-in aquariums or should I get those tube things in malls?” He asks, gazing behind the holograms and screens to look at the walls of his workshop. 

Rhodey lets his head fall to the table on the other end of the video call.

“Honey bear, you’re a genius! I should do both.”

~☽.✧.☾~

“Pep—Pep—Pep—Pep, no listen. Listen!” Tony tries to cut in, the keyword here being ‘tries’. 

“An _octopus_ , Tony? Are you out of your _mind_? Oh my god, I did not sign up for this! I really didn’t!”

“Pepper, they were gonna sell him! To a restaurant!” Tony exclaims, gesturing wildly to the decently sized aquarium where a California two-spot octopus was resting on a decorative rock. Not that his PA could see that, as she was currently lecturing him on his impulsive decision. 

Browsing the vast corners of the deep web isn’t exactly the best thing to do when you’re sleep-deprived and in pain from an electromagnet in your chest. But Tony didn’t really think he’d do anything _awful_ right?

Well, apparently he gained an octopus. Fun. 

“Tony, we aren’t talking a cat or a bird, this is an exotic creature! Are those even legal in California?” Pepper continues, shuffling papers on her end of the line. Tony could just picture her rubbing her temples. 

“They’re legal, I checked,” He says firmly. 

For a moment, the other line is silent, and Tony has the childish urge to hold his breath. Then, Pepper sighs, “You know everyone thinks you’ve lost it after Afghanistan and the whole Iron-man thing? This will raise a lot of questions. I mean, the board already locked you out once, and—”

“Listen, I mean, can I really be an eccentric billionaire if I don’t have an equally eccentric pet?”

“ _Anthony Edward Stark_ —”

Oh boy. 

~☽.✧.☾~

Giovanni the octopus was a little shit and Tony will not hesitate to tell everyone nearby about it.

“DUM-E you menace, bring that back, no no—no, don’t you _dare_ ,” Tony warns, as his firstborn struggled to lift multiple tools in his grip. Beeping enthusiastically, as he rolls his way across the linoleum floor, the tools hanging from his claw haphazardly. 

Across the workshop, an orange tentacle catches his eye. He turns around, his hands on his hips, and points to his octopus, “Don’t encourage your brother, young man.”

Giovanni moved his arm again, curling his tentacles in a way that Tony recognized.

Tony gasps, faux scandalized, “Hey, watch your language, you need to respect your elders!” Before his octopus could reply, a crash behind them drew the two’s attention followed by sorrowful beeping. 

“DUM-E,” Tony chides, “I didn’t wanna say ‘I told you so’ but—” He pauses as he hefts up the bot from his side, dusting off his claw. 

Tony then looks a little thoughtful before continuing, “actually no—” He huffs, as he drops down to pick up the tools, “I am going to say that. DUM-E, my idiot darling, why don’t you just listen to your father?” He asks dramatically as he carries the cradled tools to his tabletop. 

DUM-E trails mournfully behind him, only perking up a bit when Giovanni moves around in reassurance when they come close to his tank. 

Tony relents at that, always weak when his boys all care for one another. He turns with a fond smile and pats the claw that’s currently hanging in shame. “It’s ok buddy, you meant well. Look, go get those screws from over there.”

Tony sighs as the bot whirrs away excitedly. Fiddling with his Stark Medical Scanner, he pricks his finger discreetly.

_9%_

“Shit,” He mutters, dragging his hand across his face. “JARVIS, pull up the table, let’s revise the results again.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thanks, J.”

~☽.✧.☾~

Tony pressed his lips together tightly, then exhaled hard through his nose. 

Ok, this was kinda his fault. He obviously _should_ tell someone of his— _condition_. But in his defense, it would all just spiral from there. 

Rhodey would get all sad and come to Malibu—he’d also refuse to leave, meaning he would get heavily chewed out back at work. Tony can’t have that, even though his honey bear was too good for them anyway.

Happy would beat himself over not being able to ‘protect him’ or something and give him those side-eye looks from the doorway—which Tony _loves_ , don’t get him wrong, but it gets old _fast_.

Pepper would panic, then Tony would panic, and they can’t have that because if they’re both panicking, then nothing will get done. It’s just not good overall. He remembers what she had to go through when he first came back from Afghanistan, he doesn’t want to put her through that. Not again. It’s not fair to her. 

But his kids, they can already tell some things. And while DUM-E , U, and Butterfingers can be swayed to look the other way, Giovanni is adamant. Especially now. 

“Giovanni, Sunshine, my little octi-pocti, darling, speak to me,” He dramatically pleads with the animal. In return, the cephalopod just ignores him, half-buried under the sand of his aquatic home. Tony slumps on the stool, then drags himself to the wall of water in his workshop. 

“Giovanni~” He drawls the name out again, near whining. While the intelligent creature cannot actually hear him, the octopus does understand him in some way, they're very smart. Tony suspects it might be lip reading, but he isn’t sure. Giovanni, the stubborn bastard, wiggles himself deeper. Tony swears the octopus _crossed his tentacles_. The audacity.

He sighs again. His octopus was not amused by his antics in France. With the new modifications of the home, Tony had redone parts of his house to be replaced with aquarium, allowing his octopus free reign, swimming around the whole estate through the walls.   
  
On top of that, JARVIS and Giovanni were thick as thieves. This allows Giovanni access to most of Tony’s tech, which in hindsight should have been something he thought about after the race. In Tony’s defense, he has other things on his mind. 

After Giovanni saw the news on the tv, and with no follow up other than JARVIS, the octopus was frantic. Which, in turn, made the _bots_ frantic too. Overall, it was not pleasant coming back to the mansion. 

And, now he has a pouting octopus. 

“Look, Gigi, I’m fine ok? It’s not that bad, I came back in one piece.” 

JARVIS’s speakers make a noise that’s similar to clearing a throat. Giovanni, too, wriggled deeper into the sand _again_ in agreement. Tony mock glares at his AI, giving a ‘ _really?_ ’ look.

“If I may sir, it might be best to tell young sir about the reactor?” JARVIS offers, seeming to put all his eggs in one basket. 

Tony twists his lips but notices how Giovanni stopped squirming angrily in the sand. 

He rises up from the sand, looking almost ghost-like with the way his body is bonelessly in an elongated position. The octopus’ body language screams ‘ _this better be good_ ’, and Tony can distinctively pick out the Rhodey and Pepper-ness out of it. It’s quite fascinating to see the human-like reactions from the animal and—Tony just loves him. 

The words struggle to come properly out of his mouth, his tips twisting as he repeatedly swallows. How can he break the news to someone? How can he say ‘ _I’m dying_ ’ without just saying that? 

“Buddy—” he begins and then stops again, his mind running a blank when it comes to words. He reflexively taps a finger against the covered reactor, looking down at his knees. 

Giovanni swims closer to Tony, hovering by his head. Tony turns to face him, now with his legs crossed. He taps it again, “You know this, Gigi? How it’s supposed to keep me alive?” 

When his octopus makes the recognizable motion that means ‘ _yes_ ’, Tony takes a deep breath and continues, “Well, it’s not doing its job very well.”

Tony finds himself childishly holding his breath after that, waiting to see if the animal understands. A million things run through his head with every passing nanosecond. Doubts, second thoughts, curses, and insults plague his mind as he writes and rewrites ways to tell someone—nay, his octopus who is practically his son, _(not something you say every day, huh?)_ —he’s _dying_. 

Finally, finally,—after what feels like hours, years even—Giovanni raises a tentacle. Time moves slowly, almost syrupy from Tony’s perspective. His heart beats loudly, echoing in his ears under the roaring of his blood that’s _just~_ louder than the humming of the aquarium. ‘

Giovanni’s orange tentacle reaches out against the glass that Tony’s nearly pressed his nose against and rests it against it, a mimicry of touch and reassurance. 

And suddenly Tony’s filled with a range of emotions, feeling distinctly like a parent whose child has finally understood the hardships in life. A parent whose child has matured enough to finally look them in the eyes and empathize. A parent whose child has finally discovered what sacrifices they went through and what it truly means. 

It feels like being taken apart and rearranged again, like being swamped and then relieved of your duties for just the moment, yet this moment is all that will matter in the end. 

Tears near well up in his eyes, and Tony closes them, having his focus shift from what he emotes to what he touches, the cool floor underneath that can feel the pulsing and moment of machinery and aquarium around him. He feels small, overwhelmed yet still grounded for the moment.

He’s nearly forgotten how to live in the moment, how to actually do it while _feeling_. Did Afghanistan change that? Or has he been doing it for longer?

“I—, god I’m—really—I’m supposed to be consoling you, not the other way around,” He sighed and rests his head against the glass, turning his head to up at the workshop lights rather than the water of Giovanni’s home. DUM-E wheeled up to him and Tony puts a hand on his claw in response to his beeping. A self-deprecating smile graced the engineer’s lips. 

By his ear, he hears a plopping suction sound. Turning his head, he's greeted by the octopus’s tentacles all sprawled out—sticking to the glass like a starfish. Giovanni’s eyes which crinkled not unlike a smile. It brings a surge of affection that washes over Tony and his heart squeezes when DUM-E whirrs and bumps his knee in reference to his thoughts. 

  
“Yeah buddy, I love you, too.”

~☽.✧.☾~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Less Giovanni but more relationship antics.

~☽.✧.☾~

“ _Query complete sir._ ” JARVIS notes, then recites, “ _Anton Vanko was a Soviet physicist who defected to the United States in 1963. However, he was accused of espionage and was deported in 1967. His son, Ivan, who is also a physicist, was convicted of selling Soviet-era weapons-grade plutonium to Pakistan and served 15 years in Kopeisk prison. No further records exist._ ” Tony parts his lips as he thinks, sitting in a car in his workshop looking at holograms.

With audible beeps of the keypad, Rhodey rushes in, all hands waving and frantic, “Tony, you gotta get upstairs and get on top of this situation right now.”

  
Tony looks up from where he’s gazing at his hands, staring into space as Rhodey rants. 

“ Listen. I’ve been on the phone with the National Guard all day, trying to talk them out of rolling tanks up the PCH, knocking down your front door, and taking these.” Rhodey gestures to the suits in the back. 

Tony opens his mouth, but near bites his tongue off as a wave of agony that had been creeping up on him suddenly washes in fast and hard, like a rising tide all at once. He nearly gasps—revealing himself to Rhodey—but catches himself. Though he most likely has gone very pale. 

“They’re gonna take your suits, Tony, okay? They’re sick of the games. You said nobody else would possess this technology for 20 years. Well, guess what? Somebody else had it yesterday. It’s not theoretical anymore.” 

Tony suddenly wants to throw his head back and plead to the gods he doesn’t believe in, it must show on his face because suddenly Rhodey’s there with worried eyes and a caring voice, “Are you listening to me? Are you okay?”

With a shaky almost sigh, Tony moves, “Let’s go.”

Though the line falls flat because as he gets out of the car, he falls. You know, like an idiot. An Idiot in pain.

Rhodey catches him. because, of course, he does. Damn him. 

“Hey, man. Hey, hey! You alright?” Tony’s still moving though, he’s gotta get to the desk, it’s his only hope. His last mission. 

“Yeah, I should—” He near wheezes, “—get to my desk.” Rhodey supports him and lowers him into his chair, “See that cigar box?”

“Yeah.” 

“It’s palladium,” Tony breathes with effort as Rhodey shuffles around. Twisting his reactor up and out, Tony braces it on his fingertips, holding it out to Rhodey. For a moment, he’s proud he barely hesitates. 

“Is that supposed to be smoking?” Rhodey asks, pointing at it with worried eyes. 

Tony pants, “If you must know, it’s neutron damage. It’s from the reactor wall.”

As Rhodey removes the core, he examines it, “You had this in your body?” He exclaims, “And how about the high-tech crossword puzzle on your neck?”

Tony pauses, “Road rash. Thank you.” He mumbles as he replaces Arc Reactor and starts drinking green liquid chloroform.

He’s so just tired. The words Vanko said to him in the prison keep repeating in his head. The pain rocks from bursts of everlasting agony to a dull ache, leaving him exhausted. 

“What are you looking at?” He asks, trying to maintain the epitome of casual. 

“I’m looking at you.” Tony squeezes his eyes shut at that, and sips his concoction to keep from saying anything. For a moment, Tony entertains the idea of telling, sharing that. He thinks how he would have to watch as one of the most important people in his life have to come to terms with his inevitable passing that’s soon to come. 

He doesn’t know if he can do that. 

“You wanna do this whole lone gunslinger act and it’s unnecessary. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Tony cuts in, “You know, I wish I could believe that. I really do. But you’ve gotta trust me. Contrary to popular belief, I know exactly what I’m doing.” 

Rhodey doesn’t look impressed, and his eyes flit to the aquarium on the back wall. 

“ _ Ehem _ , Giovanni?” He raises an eyebrow. Tony huffs, knowing that moment of vulnerability is gone and the window has closed. 

“You love him, that doesn’t count.”

Tony thinks he sees something flit across Rhodey’s face, something too soft to be fond. 

But then, Giovanni swoops in from one of the pipes and splats himself onto the glass in his form of hello. The moment passes once again, and Rhodey rolls his eyes fondly as Tony stands ‘next’ to Giovanni and makes fishy faces into the glass. 

~☽.✧.☾~

“Natasha will remain a floater at Stark with her cover intact.” Fury says, and childishly, Tony imagines the man tripping on his dramatic coat. “You remember Agent Coulson, right?”

Tony sniffs, “Yeah,” wanting to—once again—childishly stick his tongue out at the Agent. Sue him, he’s _ dying _ . The dramatics are warranted, in his opinion. 

“And Tony, remember, I got my eye on you.” 

Doesn’t the pirate have anything better to do, like he’s  _ only  _ got one eye?

Natalie—or Agent Romanoff, or Natasha, or whatever the  _ fuck  _ her name is—states, “We’ve disabled all communications. No contact with the outside world. Good luck.” She adds as she leaves. 

Tony wants to throw something at her smug face. He’s trying to keep the irrational hot red fury— _ ha _ — at the forefront to burn out the icy cold of betrayal that's creeping upon him. 

Tony turns to Coulson, clasping his hands as he tries— _ tries _ —to stride past the man, but he feels as though he staggers instead, “Please. First thing, I need a little bodywork. I’ll put in a little time at the lab. If we could send one of your goon squad down to The Coffee Bean, Cross Creek, for a Starbucks run, or something like that, that’d be nice.”

Agent Coulson smiles, “I’m not here for that. I’ve been authorized by Director Fury to use any means necessary to keep you on-premises. If you attempt to leave or play any games, I will tase you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet. Okay?”

Tony flippantly waves the comment off—ignoring the flash of panic at the idea of  _ that _ with the reactor—, “I think I got it, yeah.”

“Enjoy your evening’s entertainment,” Coulson says as he leaves.

Tony looks at the box that has been left for him, and cocks his head. 

~☽.✧.☾~

“Oh my God! I can’t take this anymore.” Pepper exclaims, rubbing her eyes vigorously. Her hair settles down from being whipped in the wind. 

“You can’t—?”

“I can’t take this!”

“Look at me!” Tony’s eyebrows furrow as he gestures to himself. 

Pepper gestures wildly, her hands practically fanning herself, “My body,  _ literally _ , cannot handle the stress.” 

Tony opens his mouth—incredulous—to interject but Pepper keeps ranting, “I never know if you’re gonna kill yourself or—or wreak the whole company.”

Tony gestures behind himself, “I think I did okay!” Behind him, everything may or may not be fire and exploding drones. Something else explodes audibly just as he finishes speaking.

Pepper sighs, “I quit! I’m resigning. That’s it.”

Tony freezes, “What did you just say? You’re done?”

For a split second, Tony aches, not unlike how it was with the palladium core. Before the taste of coconuts became a permanent fixture as a result of the new core, when breathing was a game of how to do it right. A numb cold highlights the ache and spreads as he swallows. 

“That’s surprising. No, it’s not surprising,” he shakes his head, “I get it. You don’t have to make excuses.

“I’m— I’m—I’m not making any excuses.” Pepper stammers. 

“You actually were just making excuses,” Tony points out but then he backtracks again, “But you don’t have to.”

Pepper walks closer to him, tilting her head up to meet his gaze, “No, I wasn’t making an excuse. I’m actually very justified.” 

Tony has a slightly daunting realization that this might be the end for him and Pepper, and he reaches for her hand, “Listen—Hey—hey—You deserve better—”

“Well—”

“—You’ve taken such good care of me. I’ve been in a tough spot, but you got me through it, so—Right?”

“Thank you.”

Tony swallows and looks away, “Yeah,”

Pepper continues, “Thank you for understanding.”

Swallowing back a sigh, Tony nods and looks back at her, “Yeah—yeah—Let’s talk clean-up.”

Pepper flits her eyes from his eyes to his lips, “I’ll handle the transition. It’ll be smooth.”

Tony furrows his eyebrows again, “Okay,” Is he reading the room wrong? “What about the press?—” They keep shuffling closer, and the questions that were rising in the back of his mind have moved to the forefront. 

“—Because you only had the job for a week. That’s gonna seem—”

“Well, with you it’s like dog years—”

“—I know—”

“—I mean, it’s like the Presidency—”

_ Fuck it. _

When they kissed, it was frantic and raw. A scrape of teeth before smooth lips upon near bitten ones. The skyline was ablaze—quite literally—as they kissed on the rooftop. 

Pepper pulled back, and Tony cocked his head to the side, “Weird.”

Pepper shook her head, “No, it’s not weird,” she breathes. 

“It’s okay, right?” Tony stammers as they lean back in, and Pepper nods, breathing out a ‘ _ yeah _ ’ against his lips.

“Run that by me again,” He mumbles, as he moves to kiss again.

“I think it was weird,” A recognizable voice cuts in, and they startle away from each other. Turning, they see Rhodey sitting them with his hands on his knees, the silver war machine armor catching in the moonlight, “You guys look like two seals fighting over a grape.”

Pepper hooked a thumb behind her, “I had just quit, actually—”

“—Yeah, so we’re not—” Tony stammered. 

Rhodey smirks, “You don’t have to do that. I heard the whole thing.”

Tony points to him, “You—You should get lost—”

“I was here first! Get a roof.”

Classic Rhodey. Tony laughs, “I thought you were out of one-liners.”

Rhodey scrunches his nose, “That’s the last one.”

  
“You kicked ass back there, by the way.”

“Thank you. You too. Listen—”

Pepper looks back and forth between the two, then sighs. Shaking her head with a smile, she cuts in before they could continue, “If you two are going to keep flirting, I can just go.”

“Wha—Pep—Flirting?” Tony stammers.

“I mean—” Rhodey looks back and forth, “That’s not—”

“—Unless—?” Tony says before he can stop himself.

Rhodey looks at him sharply, “Unless what, Tony?”

“I mean—Like—you know?” He makes an aborted motion, and Rhodey makes a face. What face, you ask? Well, Tony can’t filter it, because his mind is blue-screening dangerously. 

They both look to Pepper. She fondly shakes her head then gives  _ them _ a look, one that’s approving and adoring all at once. 

“Right um—” Tony clears his throat, “I have a son waiting at home so—?” 

“Excuse you, that’s our son,” Rhodey scoffs. 

Pepper rolls her eyes, “Let’s go home, boys.”

And they do.

~☽.✧.☾~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers 1 - Beginning and end

~☽.✧.☾~

“Pepper, you're killing me. Remember the moment? Enjoy the moment.” Tony says as he lands on the newly light ‘STARK’ Tower. 

“Then get in here and I will.” Tony can hear the fond smirk in her voice as he’s taking off his Iron Man suit through a hi-tech gauntlet of gadgets.

Giovanni swims up to greet him, adjacent to Tony and although he can’t turn to see his octopus, Tony still greets him. “How’d I do buddy? Did you like it?” 

Giovanni does his little wiggle of yes, and Tony nods, satisfied.

“Sir, Agent Coulson of SHIELD is on the line,” JARVIS adds, and oh doesn’t that dampen the mood a tad. 

“I'm not in,” Tony says, as the helmet comes off, “I'm actually out.”

“Sir, I'm afraid he's insisting.”

Tony waves him off, “JARVIS, the schedule’s full. I got a date.”

Pepper’s face is highlighted by blue hologram and the watery shadow waves from the aquarium that fall onto her face, “The levels holding steady—” She bites her lip,”—I think.” 

“Of course they are! Wouldn’t expect anything less.” He grins. 

God how did Tony get here? With her? The only thing missing is Rhodey, but alas duty calls. 

“R&D may beg to differ,” Pepper teases. 

Tony gasps dramatically, “R&D are my children and they would never betray me like this. You—” He pokes her nose, as she smiles and laughs, “—must be mistaken.”

“As CEO, my sources are to be trustworthy.” 

“Was it Jennifer? I bet it was Jennifer.”

Her head is tilted as she looks at him, “I plead the fifth.” Tony trails after her as she pulls away from him and walks to the couches, bare feet on the floor.

“I swear to you, Pep, she’s just salty that Shane and his gangly limbs knocked over Merdieth’s vial and ruined her prototype. I’m the innocent one here!” Tony and her bicker as they walk around, him gesturing animatedly and her smiling fondly. 

“Should I get Rhodey here as referee?” Pepper comments as she pulls out the bottle from the ice bucket and moves to pour it. Her tone was that of an adult consoling a child, and Tony pouts. 

“If you can get Honeybear off work, I would give you the stars, Boss lady.”

Pepper’s eyebrows raise dramatically with that, “Oh really?” She asks as she pours herself and Tony a glass of champagne. Smiling unconsciously, as they sit down. 

“I'll tell you what. I’ll go up there and write STARK INC on the moon with a laser.” 

“Hmmm, write Potts,” She drawls, out with a nod, and goes to click their flutes of champagne in ‘cheers’, but Tony pulls away playfully. 

“Call your mom, can you bunk over?” He says with faux-innocence, and she chuckles.

“I don’t know,” She plays along, “Is James ok with it?”

“JARVIS, should I call Platypus?” Tony asks, moving back in to cheers with Pepper. 

Instead of answering that, JARVIS says, “Sir, the telephone. I'm afraid my protocols are being overwritten.” 

“Stark, we need to talk,” Coulson’s voice filters in, Tony sighs as he picks up the phone and looks at the profile picture. 

“You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message.” Pepper laughs and ducks her head. 

“This is urgent.”

Tony raises an eyebrow, “Then leave it urgently.” And just as he goes to hang up, the elevator door opens and Coulson appears.

“Security breach!” He points to Pepper, “Should Giovanni get Julian’s water cannons?” Pepper ignores him. 

“Mr. Stark,” Coulson says, as he pockets the phone into his suit. 

“Phil!” Pepper exclaims as she rises from the cousins, “Come in.” 

“Phil?” Tony looks incredulously at them as they talk, “Uh, his first name is Agent.”

“I can't stay,” Coulson smiles, not shrugging though the tone clearly implies it, though Tony does detect the stress lining his form. 

“Come on in, we're celebrating!” Pepper beckons with a smile, as they walk over. 

“Which is why he can't stay,” Tony mutters, but still smiles widely at the man. “Did you say ‘Hi’ to Giovanni? He missed you.”

Coulson’s face does the near exasperated twitch that Tony’s familiar with, but still turns to the blue aquarium to look at the octopus. Giovanni lays on the seafloor, his tenceles splayed out lazily. “Hi, Giovanni,” Coulson says, the tone best compared to that of a parent who says ‘hello’ to an inanimate object alongside a young child. 

“Come on, ‘ _Phil_ ’,” Tony teases, gesturing with his glass, “Say it like you mean it! You’ll hurt his feelings.”

“ _Tony_ ,” Pepper laughs. 

“He’s fine,” Coulson waves off, then turns with serious eyebrows. “We need you to look this over,” Coulson holds out a suspicious black file towards him, which Tony’s been eyeing for a bit, “Soon as possible.”

Tony makes a waving gesture with his hands, with a ‘ _what can you do_ ’ smile on his face. “I don't like being handed things.”

“That's alright, 'cause I love to be handed things,” Pepper—being the goddess she is—interjects smoothly, “So, let's trade.” 

She passes her glass of champagne to Coulson, takes the file from him, then takes Tony's glass of champagne while passing the file over to Tony, “Thank you.” She smiles. 

Tony sucks in a breath, then gives his customer service face, “Official consulting hours are between eight and five every other Thursday.”

“This isn't a consultation.”

“Is this about The Avengers?” Pepper asks, then backtracks when Couslon looks at her questioningly, “Which I—I know nothing about.”

“The Avengers Initiative was scrapped, I thought.” He notes as he walks away, then adds, “And I didn't even qualify.”

“I didn't know that either,” Pepper says, innocently. Tony snorts.

“Yeah, apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, don't play well with others.” 

“That I did know.”

“Wow, rude.”

“This isn't about personality profiles anymore,” Coulson states. 

“Hmm, sure. Miss Potts, got a minute?” Tony waves her over as he places the files into his own databases. 

“You know, I thought we were having a moment.”

“I think you’re mistaken, Mr. Stark,” Pepper replies, and Tony tsks, “There it is.”

Looking back at Coulson, she adds, “This seems serious, Phil's pretty shaken.”

“Yeah, I thought so too, also why is he ‘Phil’?”

She ignores it and then gestures to the screen, “What is all of this?

“This is, uh—” Tony swipes up and expands his arms, making different profiles appear in holographic form floating in the air in front of them, “Well—This.” 

The screens show different profiles, Captain America in a black & white film. On the left, a huge green being called the ‘Hulk’ roars as he attacks the army at Culver University. Another screen shows someone labeled as ‘Thor’, a large blond man fighting _something_ in New Mexico. Another is labeled ‘Loki’ and is a man in green with long black hair with a specter and a glowing blue cube.

“I'm going to take the jet to DC tonight,” Pepper breathes, still looking at the screen with wide eyes. 

“That might be best,” Tony mutters. Something gives him a bad feeling. 

“You've got homework. You've got a lot of homework.” Pepper shakes off. 

“Unfortunately,” Tony sighs, “Bummer.”

“Well, Mr. Stark, if you finish—” She whispers something in his ear, and Tony gasps. In the corner of his vision, Coulson looks away in embarrassment.

“Ms. Potts, you tease,” He whispers back, and she giggles. “Well, Rhodey’s gonna come home soon, so—”

“True,” Tony points out, “Let’s—uh—not tell him about this yet?” He gestures to the screen. Pepper raises an eyebrow. “Best not to worry him,” Tony clarifies. 

Pepper pretends to think, then leans in to kiss him, “No promises.”

She leaves with Agent—talking about dates and such. Tony grabs the blue cube—no—the ‘Tesseract’ in holograph form and examines it, worried.

Giovanni swims up in front of him, moving in a way similar to a cocked head. Keeping away from the tesseract but still with curiosity. 

“Yeah buddy, me too.” Tony sighs, and pulls up a document. 

~☽.✧.☾~

Tony lands his suit and allows JARVIS to unsuit him. Loki looks up at him, glowering. Eyes on eachother, Loki walks in the penthouse, holding the scepter, while Tony casually walks down the steps, towards the bar.

“Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity,” Loki mocks, a disinterested scowl on his face as he steps with determination into his home, _Tony’s_ home. 

Tony, aiming to play along in an effort to stall, “Uh—actually, I'm planning to threaten you.” 

“You should have left your armor on for that.” Loki points out.

_Ok arsehole , you aren’t very threatening either if it weren’t for the wand._

“ _Yeah_ —it's seen a bit of mileage, really. You've got the blue stick of destiny. Would you like a drink?” Tony offers, going behind the bar to pour himself one. 

Shaking his head, Loki chuckles condescendingly, “Stalling me won't change anything.”

Well, he’s right about one thing, at the very least. Now, Tony’s gotta wait till the heat of the conversation.

Tony shook it off, “No, no, no, not stalling! Threatening.” He points, “No drink? You sure? I'm having one.”

“The Chitauri are coming,” Loki threatened, spreading his arms, “Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?” 

“The Avengers,” Tony said with a head tilt, his tone aiming for casual. 

Loki looks at him, confused. 

Swallowing a sigh, Tony reaches for a bottle, Typical.

Tony sniffs, as he pours out a glass, “Eh—It's what we call ourselves—sort of like a team. ‘Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’ type of thing.”

“Yes, I've met them,” Loki drawls. 

Tony smiles, “Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one.” He points out, but then leans his hands on the counter for emphasis, standing a bit on his tip-toes. 

“But—uh—let's do a headcount here. Your brother, the demi-God; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend—”

As Tony rambles, Loki turns around. _Bingo, baby._

_Hello~_ heat of the moment. From underneath the bar table, Tony pulls on his suit’s honing device. Voila, colantotte bracelets. What now, Loki?

“—a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and you—” He points to Loki, “—big fella—” And takes a sip.

“—you've managed to piss off every single one of them.”

“That was the plan,” Loki replies. 

Tony refrains from making a face, both from what Loki said and from the fact that his drink turned out to be apple juice. Whoops, wrong bottle. 

No, it’s not. And if it was, it’s a stupid plan. It’s more like a flare.

“Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they'll come for you.” 

“I have an army.”

True. But is it _your_ army, honey?

Tony sniffs, “We have a hulk.”

“I thought the beast had wandered off,” Loki mumbles. 

“You're missing the point. There's no throne, there is no version of this, where you come out on top.”

And Tony means this literally. That’s the thing with villains on Earth, it’s stupid how they thing over-lording will be an effective form of supreme ruling. Humans hate being told what to do. Just look at America.  
  
It’s why democracy pleases the masses, despite the fact that voting actually goes through the electoral college. Ugh, politics. Such a fickle thing. 

Loki slowly walks up to him, raising the scepter as Tony speaks. Tony’s eyes latch on to it, feeling the humming in the air, and he near struggles to keep his voice even. 

Tony continues his— _stalling_ —threat, “Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it.”

“How will your friends have time for me, when they're so busy fighting you?” 

Tony flinches as Loki taps his scepter’s point on the arc reactor with a _ping_.

Oddly, nothing happens. Confused, Loki tires again, “It should work.”

“Well, performance issues. You know?” Tony mutters, trying to keep his breath even. 

Loki near growls and moves to grab at Tony, but before he can a loud splash comes from the side of them. They turn rapidly and an orange blur comes barreling towards them. 

In a blink, Tony is baffled to see Giovanni on Loki’s face, wrapping his eight tentacles tightly around his head. Loki fails around, Giovanni muffling his confused and alarmed protests.

“J—JARVIS?” Tony asks. 

The only response is the elevator opening and a red pod shooting out towards Tony.

The pod laser signals the bracelets, just as they should and quickly the Mark VII involves him. 

Tony shoots out a hand and captures Loki’s wrists—careful to avoid Giovanni—with cuffs that come out of the suit. Giovanni lets go of Loki to jump back onto the couch. Loki hits the back of it and falls to the floor, the scepter skidding across the floor away from the god. 

“And there's one other person you pissed off!” Tony stands in front of a fallen Loki, “His name was Phil.”

Loki makes a face, opening his mouth, but Tony repulsors him across the room. Loki hits his head and goes limp. 

“Sir, there seems to be new signals from the roof,” Jarvis reports. Tony tilts his head in consideration. 

“Alright, I’m on my way. Oh—and JARVIS? Help Gi-Gi back into his room.”

“Of course, sir.”

Before he leaves, he turns back to look at Giovanni, “Gi—hey!” And pops his faceplate up again, “No, naughty octopus!” Giovanni stops in his movements, halfway between the couch and the slumped figure of Loki.

“No, don’t do that.” Giovanni looks admonished enough so Tony relents and adds, “But great job, buddy! I’m proud of you!”

Giovanni curls his tentacles, happily.

“Now, back to the tank with you!”

~☽.✧.☾~

**_~ FIN ~_ **

~☽.✧.☾~

**_TONY AND GIOVANNI MAY RETURN?_ **

* * *

[Giovanni & Tony Art - Insta link](https://www.instagram.com/p/CBv5KTPpn7K/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link)

[Giovanni & Ironman Helmet - Insta Link](https://www.instagram.com/p/CFknkrGAoab/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link)

[Giovanni & Ironman Helmet - Tumblr Link](https://the-aven-gen-z-ers.tumblr.com/post/630261774273396736/tentacles-to-think-about-giovanni-the-octopus-i)

[Giovanni & Tony Art - Tumblr Link](https://the-aven-gen-z-ers.tumblr.com/post/629803198101815296/i-wrote-the)

[My personal Tumblr! ](https://the-fifth-marauder101.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Maybe I'll write more of this AU, maybe I won't. However, I will be posting more short stories like this. Random Tony related fics with a twist on them.
> 
> Please let me know what you think and if you want more of this AU via comments! Leave a kudo if u enjoyed as well, and you're always welcome to talk to me on Tumblr or Insta! 
> 
> Stay safe!  
> ~Vix

**Author's Note:**

> As you can see, this is just a mini character study plus AU. 
> 
> Please kudo and comment to let me know what you think! I would love to hear more from you
> 
> I hope you all are safe and as well as you could be given our situation. 
> 
> ~Vix


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